Thaddeus Diggory
Women. That’s all I have to say about that.
Oh Elena, I feel your eyes on me, that sharp look you used to give me when I’d put my foot in my mouth. I know I’m being unreasonable, but in my defense, so are they. Lilo took something of Ariel’s, something important to her, and they’ve been rotating between the silent treatment, whispered insults, and full-on shouting matches. It’s so tiring. I want to send them both to time out and then sit them down for a talking-to about respect… but obviously that isn’t the best solution.
I wish you were here. You would know how to navigate this, but I can’t help wondering if you would be willing to step in and “rescue” me. Again. Would you just throw me to the wolves and tell me to figure it out?
I’ve allowed myself to hope, lately, that I might find you and the children again, but I realize now I’ve merely been indulging in a fantasy. If I do survive this—which is by no means promised—there’s surely no way you would be willing to consider a conversation, let alone something resembling reconciliation. After everything I did that I so foolishly thought would help me to win you back? After I traded antiquities on the black market, laundered money for street gangs, and blackmailed a legislator who caught me in the act?
What the hell was I thinking? Who did I think I was?
Who did I think you were?
No, there is no hope for this lonely old man anymore. If I get out, I’ll move to a quiet town and live out my retirement in isolation, the neighborhood Carl Fredricksen. If I’m very lucky, perhaps one day a young scout will come and float my home away with balloons.
Ariel Irene
Well today was a horrible mess. I told Lilo that I knew she’d taken my knife. She told me she knew what I did after you died.
She asked me if Thaddeus knew, and I told her I have no idea. I haven’t said anything to him, and I don’t think he’s been paying much attention to anything lately, so I doubt it.
I asked her if she’s been stealing crap from us this whole time, and she said “so what if I have been?” and I swear I almost punched her.
And Thaddeus, of course, refuses to acknowledge that she was wrong to take it. He just keeps saying that I knew she was a thief and I can’t be surprised when she takes stuff. Isn’t the whole point of this stupid place to make us “change our ways” or whatever? Shit job it’s doing of that, but it’s not like we were ever really going to see the end of it. If we did make it to whatever goalpost they had in mind, they’d just shoot us when we got there and make it look like an accident.
She won’t even give it back to me—keeps acting like I’m going to use it on her, which is only becoming more likely the longer she keeps acting like a stupid baby about it. I don’t think she knows as much about Marcus as she’s letting on, and I certainly don’t think she knows what knife it is.
She’d be too scared to keep it if she knew what it’s done. What I did with it.
His face still haunts my dreams. I wake in a cold sweat, his fear the last thing to fade from my mind’s eye. It’s the only thing I dream about as often as I dream about you.
Lilo Talei
So I was wrong, Ariel definitely did notice that I took her knife, and I was definitely right to take it when I did because she is definitely crazy. Thaddeus doesn’t know about Ariel, of course, because he doesn’t pay attention to anything we say, so when I told him I only took her knife to protect myself, he just sort of raised his eyebrows and said that I should talk to her about it instead of lashing out and taking stuff without asking. He doesn’t understand that it was self-defense, so even if I weren’t thief by trade, it’d be justified. I’m saving his life, honestly. He should be grateful.
We spent all day walking in this weird line with, like, ten feet between us, except when Ariel would come and start yelling at me to give her the knife. As if that would do anything other than remind me how important it is that she not get it back. I don’t even know where we’re going or why we’re going there. We picked east because it seemed right, but now it’s just days and days of climbing this ridiculous mountain, and I don’t think it’s even going to lead us anywhere. One of us will fall off a cliff and the others will starve to death or die of poisoning or something and that will be that.
What a stupid way to go.
You’re reading The Ravenswing Report, a rapid-fire, limited-run serial from Sara Dietz at Blinking Blue Line. To learn more and access the Table of Contents, click here.
Thaddeus as grumpy, overwhelmed girl dad stuck in the middle of drama is so sad but also hilarious. I love it.
> Again.
Again?!
> She’d be too scared to keep it if she knew
I think she would just double down on "I was right to".
> He should be grateful.
He should! But he's so unobservant I don't think he even knows what ages his kids would be (or rather, are), and I wonder if he has two or actually three.