Welcome to Remembrance!
I’m thrilled to have you here. This is the twenty-ninth chapter in my serialized novel — if you’re interested in following along, you can subscribe to receive each new chapter in your inbox, every Saturday.
Previously, Leah snuck into the prison and made a game-changing discovery that required her to think on her feet, change all her plans, and risk it all for the greater good.
In this chapter, Leah tries to make sense of what happened and why, wrestles with her unexpected disappointment, and begins to consider what she wants her life to look like.
Red and blue lights flashed outside as Leah blinked her heavy eyes. She’d been awake for some time but couldn’t quite remember how long. Or what had happened. Or where she was. She didn’t hurt, per se, but she didn’t feel good.
She tried to sit up and immediately regretted it.
A groan escaped her. A blonde woman materialized next to her—or had she always been there?—and met Leah’s eyes with curiosity and compassion. A nurse, or maybe an EMT.
“She’s awake.”
“Go ahead and check her vitals, and see if she’ll take some water.” The source of this other voice was another nurse, a redhead, who had been standing unnoticed in front of Leah’s bed.
“Ms. Harvey, glad to have you back with us. I’ve got a cup of water here. Let’s get you sitting up and you can take a little sip.”
The two nurses braced Leah’s back and helped lift her into a sitting position. One of them adjusted the back of the bed so that it formed a low, slanted seat. The other placed a pillow behind her neck and handed her a cup of water.
Leah fumbled the straw into her mouth and sipped slowly.
“Good. Glad to see everything’s still working. You had us worried there for a minute.”
“What happened?”
“Best we can figure, Dr. Pierucci was one injection into a three-step process that would have ended your life. They got to you just in time—if he’d injected that second vial, your risk of long-term paralysis would have been significantly higher.”
Leah nodded slowly, her ears ringing.
Dr. Pierucci. The injection.
The treatment room.
The prison.
The sting operation.
It hit her like a ton of bricks. Everything that had happened came flooding back to the forefront of her mind.
“Did they get him? Did the FBI show up? Is my friend Sarah okay?”
“There is a young woman named Sarah who’s been waiting to hear how you’re doing—I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear you’re awake. And, yes, the FBI is still on-site dealing with the aftermath of their operation. I’ve been instructed to let one Special Agent Ronald McDonald know when you’ll be available for questioning.”
The two nurses chuckled to themselves. Leah’s still-foggy brain took a moment to catch the joke, but even so, she couldn’t laugh.
“I missed it?”
“Missed what, darlin’?”
“The sting operation. The arrest. I was supposed to be there to see it all go down.”
“Well, you certainly were there, but I can’t imagine you did much seeing… seein’ as you were unconscious and all.”
Leah felt her face fall as the realization crashed around her, permanent and unchangeable.
“Ah, I’m sorry, dear, I’m not trying to be unkind. You seem like you’re real beat up about all this. I’ll go ahead and let your friend step in. She might know a little bit more about what’s going on, and I’m sure she’ll be able to comfort you better’n I can.”
The blonde nurse stepped down from the ambulance and disappeared into the hubbub surrounding it. Leah took in the scene for the first time, noticing a conglomeration of black suburbans, flashing lights, and yellow tape. People in uniforms scurried around like ants—some in prison uniforms like the one she was still wearing, others in black jackets labeled FBI, still others in the bright yellow scrubs of paramedics.
It had been morning when she’d last checked the time—ten o’clock, when the sting was set to begin—but the parking lot was already shrouded in evening shadows, tending toward darkness.
How long was I out?
“Here she is,” the blonde nurse said, stepping back into the ambulance and helping someone up after her. Sarah. “She’s still a little out of it, but she seems to be in fine health, all things considered.”
Sarah nodded, and the blonde nurse stepped out of the way.
“Hey, Leah. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better, I’m not going to lie.”
A silence grew between them.
“I missed the arrest. Did you get to see it?”
“I heard some of it. Robert—Agent McDowell—didn’t really want me involved at all, but he knew I was his best bet to get to you in time, so he let me lead them back to the wing where I left you. He wouldn’t let me go any further than the hallway, though, so I didn’t have a great view. I may have embellished slightly and told him that Dr. Pierucci was going to kill you if he didn’t hurry… Just to make sure he was listening. He seemed disappointed that I wasn’t you…” Here, Sarah winked as if there was an understanding between them, but Leah wasn’t sure what it meant. “…so I figured I’d channel that energy.”
Leah laughed. “You didn’t!”
“I did! I was worried about you. And so was Robert.”
“Well, you were accidentally right—turns out that a person can only go through a suppression once, and after that it doesn’t hold. So he really was going to…”
Sarah’s eyes widened, the grin dropping off her face. “I am so grateful that I didn’t know that until now. I think I would have frozen on the spot if you’d told me that inside. I’m still waiting for the headache I got in there to go away. Something not right about that place.”
“Yeah… I’m not sure I could have made the same choice I made if I’d’ve known.”
Another pause. Something was weighing on Sarah’s mind—that much was obvious enough—but Leah didn’t feel up to the task of trying to figure out what it was.
“Do the others know?”
Sarah’s face changed. There it is. Bingo.
“What is it, Sarah?”
“I’m not going to lie, we’re all a little frustrated with you. After Robert got here with his team, and they took care of everything with Dr. Pierucci, I gave Natalie a call. She was furious that she hadn’t heard anything from us, and when I filled her in on how everything had gone down, I really thought she was going to march up here and chew me out in person.”
“I…”
“How could you go talk to Jude like that without telling us? You didn’t think it was important for us to know that you were outing yourself to him? You didn’t think that maybe he’d tell his father?”
Leah’s heart rate picked up, and she felt herself getting defensive.
“Sarah, I couldn’t not talk to him before they arrested him. I loved him, Sarah, as much as it baffles and even embarrasses me to admit it now. For all his dumb jokes and his way of cluelessly walking into situations he was unqualified for. I put him into this situation in the first place, and I couldn’t stop thinking that—that if he were still somehow uninvolved, or if he’d taken up the case and tried to stop his father, or even if he’d gone all the way into the deep end… it was all my fault. I didn’t want him to get hurt if he didn’t have to.”
“And that slim chance of his not being an accomplice… it was worth putting us all at risk? Worth putting the success of your whole grand plan at risk? After all your talk about not wanting to make any more sacrifices! You almost died today, Leah.”
The desperation in her voice was palpable. Leah felt a twinge of guilt, just for a moment, before her resolve strengthened and her hackles rose again.
“I… I’m sorry, Sarah. I don’t know what to say. I did what I thought was best with the information I had available. And no, it didn’t go according to plan, but even so, I’m not sure I’d do it differently if given the chance. I needed a chance to say goodbye.”
The last sentence escaped without a conscious choice to say it, but she was glad to have the sentiment out in the open. She didn’t want to keep escalating the argument—memories of their fight were still fresh on her mind—but she needed Sarah to understand. There had been so much riding on her conversation with Jude.
Sarah smiled sadly. “I know. I do. And I can’t stay mad at you for long, Leah, especially with something like this… basically a delayed response to the break-up. None of us even thought to ask you how you were doing with all of that because it was so far in the past for us, but it wasn’t for you.”
Leah could only nod, and Sarah continued.
“But gosh, you really had us worried for a while. The EMTs weren’t sure how long you’d be out because they had no idea what drug and dosage Pierucci had given you. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks, Sarah. Please do tell the others that I’m sorry for putting everything in jeopardy. This was not how I was expecting things to go down, and frankly, it’s a miracle that we—”
“Can we please have everyone clear this area?” Leah was cut off by a loud, hoarse voice shouting across the lot where they were parked. The voice was unfamiliar, but it seemed to be emanating from a very familiar figure: the local nightly news anchor. “We’re about to start filming, so if you’re camera-shy or don’t want your family to know that you’re here in this God-forsaken hellhole, move out of the way!”
The camera crew fumbled around for a few minutes, clearly exasperating the news anchor, who rushed around barking orders as if she owned the place. Finally, when what seemed like a mountain of equipment had been set up and double-checked, she centered herself a few feet in front of the camera.
Her demeanor completely changed. The shift was palpable, even several yards away in the ambulance. She straightened her shoulders, leaned in ever so slightly, raised the pitch of her voice, and spoke with that tone of authoritative confidentiality that endeared her to the public.
“Tonight at ten, arrests have been made at Scarlett Bay Correctional Facility in connection with the well-respected Rehabilitation Research Project, conducted under the banner of the McNeill Institute for Neurological Development. Our team is reporting live from the prison. You don’t want to miss this developing story.”
The cameraman gave her a thumbs up, and the anchor immediately dropped the professional face. Walking over to the news van, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
Leah groaned, trying to conceal her disappointment with a half-hearted joke. “You’ve got to be kidding me! I showed up at some ungodly hour of the morning to make sure I wouldn’t be noticed, I snuck in here, I risked my life to make sure that the sting would be a success and I would be there for it, and all I get to see is the news crew filming the TV coverage?”
She leaned forward and glanced around.
“Heck, are we in the TV coverage? I didn’t even think to check where their frame stopped. Maybe we’ll be famous, Sarah. It’d be some small consolation.”
A cough at the foot of the ambulance caught their attention. Leah glanced out the door and started when she saw a face that she recognized, although they’d never met in person.
“Sarah, I don’t mean to rush you, but I do need to speak with Miss Harvey here whenever she has a moment.”
“Oh, hey Robert! Leah, you know Special Agent McDowell. He’s got some questions for you about what happened before his team showed up. You feeling up for an interrogati—I mean, chat?”
Leah rolled her eyes. “Sure. Come on in.”
He stepped up into the ambulance and helped Sarah to exit. The EMTs who’d been keeping an eye on her had made their way out into the throng while she and Sarah were chatting, either in search of coffee or checking on other patients.
Agent McDowell pulled out a recorder but didn’t turn it on. Instead, he opened a folding chair that was leaning against the wall and situated himself near Leah’s seat.
“Ms. Harvey, with all the respect in the world, what the hell were you thinking showing up at the prison today? Frankly, I consider it a breach of trust, let alone a breach of protocol, that you made use of the confidential information I shared with you in order to put yourself in harm’s way like this!”
Leah wanted to say nothing, to remain strong and silent in her convictions.
I don’t owe anyone, especially not this stranger, an explanation of my actions.
She found herself tripping over her words anyway, the pent-up fear and frustration and exhaustion and disappointment fighting their way out of her system. “I’ve been working on this case for almost two years now, and I can’t even begin to explain the personal cost to stay on top of it, and so much of my own life and my own past are caught up in this story and this organization and this family, and I just couldn’t bear the thought of waking up tomorrow and seeing it on the news, and since you literally told me when and where it was going to happen, I thought I might as well show up… I had it all planned down to a T, I mean you told me yourself that I’m a thorough researcher, you know I could have pulled it off it they hadn’t’ve gotten rid of all the files, and honestly the whole thing would have been a wash if I hadn’t stepped in, so you really ought to be thanking me inst—”
“You’re right, Leah. Can I call you Leah?”
Taken aback, she nodded.
“This whole case is tied up as cleanly as it is because of the work you put in at every step. And what you did in there, thinking on your feet and improvising? Risking your life like that? I’d never ask one of my team to be that brave. That was something else. And I’m honored and grateful to be a witness to it.”
Leah was speechless.
He clicked the red circle on the recording device, and a green light flickered to life.
“So, why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me everything that happened since we last spoke?”
And she did. Whether it was the release of years of built-up stress, the lingering effect of the anesthesia she’d been given, or something about Agent McDowell’s eyes as he listened to her speak, Leah wasn’t sure, but she told the story like she would to a close friend—all the side-stories and details and tangents that came with the basic narrative of the last few days.
Telling the story felt almost healing, as if putting it into the world allowed her to understand more deeply, to reclaim the narrative, and to process through the complex emotions she’d experienced at each step of the way.
When she finished, she was tired. But more than tired, she was sad. In relating all the details to Agent McDowell—who insisted she call him Robert—she came to realize just how important it had been for her to be there and see the moment of the arrest.
“Thanks for listening to all that—I’m sorry I got so distracted. It’s nice to be able to talk about it openly. I just really wish I could have been there, you know? Just for the sense of closure it would have brought. I lost so much to this investigation—years of my life, friendships, a marriage—and I don’t really know what I’m going to do next. But it’s hard to believe that it’s over, and I want to think that it would have been different if I had witnessed it firsthand.”
For the first time, he looked genuinely concerned. “A marriage?”
“Well, sort of. You know you just arrested my ex-fiancé, right?”
“I… think you left out that little detail. How long ago did you two…?”
Leah chuckled. “That’s another long story, and probably best left for another time.”
“Well, then, why don’t you tell it to me over dinner one night this week? I’m not sure when I’ll be back in this neck of the woods, but I sure would enjoy spending some off-the-clock time with you before I head back to the cold, dark north. Would Wednesday night work for you?”
“As in a date?” She raised her eyebrows, skeptical but not unhappy.
“As in.” He winked.
“Well then—pick me up at seven?” She held out her cell phone and watched him send himself a text message.
“Seven o’clock it is. Looking forward to it.”
“Likewise.”
Robert turned to leave.
“Oh—” Leah called after him. He faced her again, still halfway out of the ambulance. “I know this is a dumb question, but—you got them?”
“We gottem. We’ll be recommending a small litany of charges, so we’ll see what the DA goes with. But rest assured, we gottem.”
He exited the ambulance and walked off toward one of the black vans. Leah, still blushing after the unexpected turn the conversation had taken, looked down at her phone.
Robert McDowell. Wednesday. 7:00.
What have I gotten myself into?
A few hours later, Leah was settling into bed when her phone rang. Her mother’s face appeared on the screen.
Leah sighed, then immediately felt guilty about it. Her relationship with her mom had been a source of particular discomfort in the aftermath of the suppression, in part because she could now recognize the degree to which she had unwittingly contributed to their growing apart.
The call went to voicemail, and almost immediately, the phone started ringing again. She answered the call.
“Hey mom, what’s up?”
“Leah, are you seeing this?”
“Seeing what, mom? I’m in bed.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry to disturb you, but you’ve gotta go see this. Go turn on channel eight. It’s important. I don’t know how to say this, I’d rather you just go see for yourself.”
A sinking feeling grew in the pit of Leah’s stomach as she connected the dots—the ten o’clock slot on channel eight was reserved for local news, and the anchor had been on-site filming the preview snip that would have been aired all evening.
“Can it wait until the morning?”
“Leah, I think Jude and his father are getting arrested. Isn’t that prison in town—what is it, Scarlett Lake?—isn’t that where you filmed that commercial a year or two ago?”
“Scarlett Bay, yeah, that’s the one.”
“I think they’re there, Leah, and the FBI is there, and the news anchor is saying—”
Her mother’s voice cut off, whether from a bad signal or for some other reason.
“Mom?”
“Leah, is that you in the background of this footage? Were you at that prison today? I though you weren’t working at the Institute anymore, that you’d quit after you and Jude broke up. That’s definitely you, and that looks like your neighbor? The cute one with the curly hair? What’s her name again, Sarah? What’s going on, Leah?”
“It’s a really long story, Mom. Can I come over tomorrow and tell you the whole thing?”
“Fine, but please tell me you’re safe! Why didn’t you tell me any of this was going on?”
“I’m safe, Mom. I’m at home in my bed. The door is locked and deadbolted. Sarah and Connor are both home as well. I’ll tell you the whole story in the morning, but today was a big win. I know that’s a weird thing to say, given that Jude and Dr. Pierucci were arrested, but just trust me. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow.”
“Okay…” She didn’t sound convinced. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“See you tomorrow. I love you, Mom.”
“Love you too, Leah.”
The call ended. Leah played out the day in her head over and over again, wondering what she could have done differently, what she would change if given the chance, how she was going to explain it all to her mother…
She slept quickly and deeply.
Thank you for reading!
Ready for Chapter 30? Read on.
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Yay! I’m so glad there’s at least one more installment. I’m going to be sad when Leah isn’t part of my life every Saturday 😂
I'm glad Leah came through everything all right! What a wild ride. Is all well, then, that ends well...?