pocket park
Flash Fiction Friday
Another week, another Flash Fiction Friday hosted by
over at . I’ve missed the last two weeks, although I do intend to write something for those prompts eventually! For this week’s list, you can click here.THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR REMEMRANCE. CAVEAT LECTOR.
pocket park | 1,217 words
Leah sighed as she closed out her incognito browser tabs and shut her laptop. Her shoulders slumped over her desk and her chest felt tight as she straightened out a stack of papers and glanced back at her to-do list. For a moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and lean her head back in her chair.
What am I supposed to do?
She breathed deeply, her cheeks full and her exhale noisy.
How am I supposed to figure this out?
A knock on the door caused her heart to jump. Her eyes flew open and she sat up straight in her chair. The door cracked, and Jude’s face peeked through. He looked as tired as she felt, and she didn’t miss the worry writ large on his brow.
“How are you doing, babe?” His voice was soft, compassionate.
Leah shook her head, trying to revive herself. She faked a smile and hoped he wouldn’t notice. “Doing okay! Glad it’s finally the weekend.”
“Amen to that,” he replied. “I was thinking of going for a walk in the pocket park before heading home. Want to join me?”
She didn’t, but she couldn’t think fast enough to come up with an excuse. “Sure, that’d be lovely. Are you going right now?”
His eyebrows raised. “Yeah, I was going to head over in a minute.”
“Well, I’ll throw my stuff in my car and meet you out front.”
He smiled. Leah’s heart squirmed at the sight.
For all his flaws, I really do love him.
She played with her engagement ring as she walked to the main lobby and opened the glass doors of the front entrance. The sun already sat low in the sky, and a chill descended over the parking lot. Leah pulled her jacket closer around her chest and watched her breath condense in front of her.
Jude walked out a moment later, his own coat buttoned to his chin, a a black wool scarf around his neck that Leah had made for him the previous winter. After she placed her purse on the front seat of her car and locked the doors, he held a gloved hand out to her. She took it, and they set off on their walk.
They crossed the length of the parking lot in silence. Leah’s thoughts raced as she debated—not for the first time, and not for the last—whether or not to bring Jude into her confidence. The things she’d uncovered over the last six weeks had horrified her, and she knew he could sense the growing distance as she became more and more absorbed with her research. She wanted to trust him, and yet… a vague, intangible something held her back.
It wasn’t until they had made it across the street, as the paved sidewalk gave way to a gravelly footpath, that Jude spoke up again.
“Leah,” he began, his voice hesitant. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve seemed really stressed lately. I’m getting worried about you.”
She looked up at him. His blue-grey eyes were heavy, and his mouth turned down in the tiniest frown. She saw more and more of his father in him with every passing day.
The thought scared her.
“I’m sorry, Jude. I’ve really been trying not to let this stress affect us… this whole public image crisis has just really taken a toll on me. Your father won’t stop asking me about it, but in order to meet his expectations, I’m having to push the rest of my work off more and more… I really shouldn’t even be leaving the office yet. I’ve got a ton more stuff that needs to get done.”
Jude sighed and squeezed her hand. “Do you want me to talk to him about it? I don’t know if I can convince him to let up completely, but at least he might be willing to let me help you out? Or maybe it’s time for us to hire somebody else?”
Leah sighed. “I wish it were that simple, but it’s just not. Onboarding someone else at this point would just add to my to-do list.” She shrugged. “There’s nothing to be done about it. It just sucks in the meantime.”
“Surely, it doesn’t have to be like this, though! There’s got to be something that can give.” His voice sounded impatient, and he picked up his pace as they continued their walk.
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t understand, Jude—it’s not like I can just print off a sheet of paper and expect someone else to pick up the slack!”
“I understand how onboarding works, Leah,” he replied, suddenly steely. “I know it would add to your load in the short term. But this—” he let go of her hand and gestured to nothing in particular. “This is not sustainable in the long term. Not for you as a person, and certainly not for us.”
Leah groaned. “Come on, Jude. You know this isn’t going to be forever. It’ll blow over soon, and I’ll be okay again.”
She knew it was a lie even before the words tumbled out of her mouth. Beside her, Jude refused to make eye contact. For a few paces, neither spoke. A woodpecker tapped away on one of the trees as they followed the loop of the trail around and began walking back to the clinic. Light fell like pinpricks through the bare trees, fading fast as the sun drifted down toward the horizon.
Leah looked over at Jude, who still kept his gaze stubbornly ahead.
Would it really be that bad to tell him everything? Is it really such a foregone conclusion that he would mess things up? I know Matthew and Natalie are so scared, but they don’t know him like I do…
“Did you still want to come over for dinner tonight?” Jude finally asked, breaking the silence and interrupting her thoughts.
Leah grimaced. “Agh, that’s right. We’d talked about dinner. I… I don’t think I can. I really do need to get some more work done.” She stole a glance at his face, alarmed at the storm brewing on his brow. “But I’ll see you in the morning for coffee. You know I wouldn’t miss that for the world.”
Jude didn’t respond.
It’s not like I can keep it from him forever. He’s going to find out sooner or later, and I’d rather he hear it from me than from his father. But…
Beside her, Jude’s footsteps stopped, and Leah blinked heavily as her thoughts dissipated. They were back in the clinic’s parking lot, standing beside her car.
“Oh, gosh. We’re already back!” Leah did her best to keep her worry out of her face. “Sorry I was so quiet—I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”
“I know.”
Leah pursed her lips as she placed a hand on the door of her car. “Well, I guess I’ll see you at Common Grounds in the morning.”
“See you then.” His voice was cold, and Leah’s stomach flipped.
“I love you,” she said, trying to draw his gaze to hers. “I hope you know that.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I do.”
With a heavy sigh, Leah slid into her car and watched him walk toward his.
I hope I know what I’m doing.
These Flash Fiction Friday vignettes are fun to write, in large part because they don’t get much by way of editing. I usually tap them out during my kids’ nap/quiet time, which means they come together in under and hour, and I press “go” without doing much touching up.
They’re also a blast because they allow me to explore backstory (and front-story, in theory) for characters in the McNeill Institute universe where my novel Remembrance is set.1 If you enjoyed this story, definitely check out the other short stories I have set in-universe and consider reading my debut novel, Remembrance!
And, of course, consider subscribing so you don’t miss future short stories and first-draft serials!
FORGET EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW. After a psychotic break lands Leah Harvey in a clinical trial for an experimental new treatment, she assumes that things are looking up. But when she's t-boned on her way to an appointment and ends up missing her monthly check-in, her symptoms come out of remission and flare up with a vengeance. At first, she chalks it up to residual effects of the accident, or to missing her treatment, but she's quickly drawn into a complex network of secrets threatening to burst. Not only is her view of her condition changed forever, but her understanding of her very self.
Remembrance is available now at fireandfeastbooks.com.
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Jude, you're not Han Solo. Only Han Solo can get away with that: for everyone else, the standard response to "I love you" is "I love you too"!. Oy, Jude.